Change can be a scary thing.
Necessary, but scary. I wish I had a manual on how to Do change the right way, but life changes have so many moving parts. Some people have to ease into change, some dive in, some have to clear a path, and then you have some that sit on the sidelines just peeking and never spring into action.
Change is hard.
Some of the things you once valued won’t seem as important and that includes people. The content you consume, the conversations you engage in, and even the company you keep will shift. This is going to be a hard thing to accept for some of the people closest to you. It will even be hard on you at times.
Change can be lonely but Do It Anyway.
Your best friend from 4th grade may not understand why you no longer wish to discuss the latest crew drama. Or why you’re 5 episodes behind on The Real Housewives of whatever city they’ve taken the show to now and have no real desire to catch up. Your new level of awareness that is emerging will not always be understood by your peers and people tend to dislike what they don’t understand. Just know as you become more focused, existing relationships not only change shape, some get bent out of shape. I cherish friendships, and loyalty is something I hold in high regard. Take the time to talk to those closest to you and let them in on how you’re changing and the reasons why. Some will get it and love you through it even if it means the dynamics of your friendship change. Some won’t. And that’s ok. What isn’t OK is you choosing to hold yourself back because of another person’s unwillingness to see you move forward.
Change stretches you.
When you begin to change you start reaching for things outside your comfort zone, things you once didn’t think were possible for your life. The choosing of your environment and the people in this environment is imperative to your growth. You want to get really specific about your surroundings because everything that you do will be a means to your end goal. Stretching hurts before it feels good and you don’t need people blocking your stretch.
We all do change differently
Everyone will do change differently and change comes in many phases. It can be overwhelming. With so many phases I suggest you just start somewhere. To make it easy I just want to list a few things you could do.
#1 Investigate how things are serving you in your life. Are they helping, or hindering? At some point in our lives, we have all developed less than stellar habits and have held on to people and things that aren’t necessarily great for us. No one is immune to this.
#2 Take inventory of your mental space, and declutter your thoughts, while also examining your physical surroundings, your routines, your relationships, your habits, and your behaviors. Just taking notice of your surroundings, routines, and habits that no longer or never fostered positivity in your life is a great place to start.
#3 Don’t leave home without honesty. The last thing you want to do is lie yourself. Change requires the raw truth and you have to be willing to take the truth and break it down.
Once you’ve identified and let go of things and people that no longer serve a purpose in your life, you will open yourself up to new, and better relationships that are aligned with the person you are becoming. The awesome thing is, there are other people on this journey with you, seeking a tribe to grow with. Let go of the notion that you can’t make friends later in life. Don’t let Drake confuse you into believing “No new friends” is the new wave! It’s not. Entering into new friendships, finding mentors who understand the path you’re embarking on, listening to podcasts or reading books of people who are where you aspire to be is a gift worth giving yourself.
Change is inevitable, sometimes it happens to you whether you are ready for it or not. Initiating the changes, puts you at an advantage to navigating the new circumstances.
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there”